今天是2009年12月31日，原以为今天会平平凡凡地读过，看来我今天的直觉不太准。
早上跟一班死党吃完早餐后，陪坚仪一起到TM Point去办她家电话线的事。由于办得不顺利，坚仪就开始Mang Zang了...太忙碌的生活果然会让人神经紧崩，脾气不好。
后来回到顺发等坚仪回家办事。为了逗她开心，决定买一包饼干，再对着她唱曹格的《背叛》的‘当做最后一次对你的溺爱’。其实做这件事是很冒险的，对着一个生着气的人那么不认真，只有两种结果：1 她被你逗笑了 2 你准备中骂。如果结果是2，那我就是今天大家出来玩却不开心的罪魁祸首了。
振潘竟然在这时说选拔校队不够人手，我一直在三心两意要不要去帮他，因为问了很多人，只有翠宁一个有去。身为副主席，竟然在缺人手时径自去玩...到底该怎么办？
上了车，逗林坚仪后，还好结果是3，她直接问我：“你是不是做了什么会被我骂的事？”我就问她可不可以我一个人去帮振潘然后她们自己去玩。她说：1 就是我们6人一起去帮 2 就是我们6人一起去玩...就知道...
问了振潘，结果是算了，他叫我们去玩吧！我也大概猜到， 我们没有穿会服和体育裤，其他5人还穿便服，如果这样子去帮忙，很不认真也不端庄，李慧慧也不给的啦~振潘也不要吧，会影响羽球队的形象。
可我心里还是很愧疚，虽然临时通知，我有权利不去，但我很爱羽球队...我还是副主席咧~竟然没有去帮忙...然后让一个小的女校队自己一人去帮振潘，我真是个很糟糕的副主席...
到了T.S，没买到衣服，都很贵，便宜的都太普通。去Sungei Wang吧！
......我们...并不知道...这一去...便是造成我们今天出门不愉快的导火线......
虽然中华的学生都很聪明，但是我还是很笨的被人骗了钱！思宁、恩怡、以庭也是。
我们从T.S的天桥走下来时，一堆人拦着我们，说什么妹妹、妹妹，可以听我们讲一下...对手阵容浩大，我们逃不出去，只好听了。说什么不是慈善活动，只是要我们Support下他们的手工艺品，噼里啪啦的讲了一大队，还死命称赞你什么什么的，有大头症的人就会忘本而陷入他们的陷阱。那一张纸叫我们在上面签名，填一些琐碎的资料，说什么他们在累计分数，支持下...我们以为只是填填签签就可以走了，谁知道他们竟叫我们付钱买他们的手工艺品。妈的！走又走不掉，就随便给他RM10，结果又讲什么不行，最低RM20，给了RM20又叫我出多RM10，讲就差这RM10他就可以完工了~我说不行，之后他的好朋友又叫我写那张纸，我问他要不要给钱，他又说不用，说只是跟他的朋友合作找人写写名，那就写了，快点写完快点走。写完了又叫我拿RM10出来，他妈的！为什么当时我会那么笨顺着他们的意思走？！
只有坚仪很清醒，很严肃地问清楚，然后拉着蔡予宁逃跑（虽然那个跟蔡予宁讲解的人一直骂坚仪没礼貌、没教养、没家教，妈的！他做这种诈骗的事，算有家教吗！可耻），他们二人才免受上当。思宁被骗了RM50，恩怡RM60，以庭RM40。
以前每遇过这种事，假设的时候还自信满满地乱吹自己不会上当，会采取什么样很聪明的对策，结果遇着了这种事，情况却大为相反。没有经过实际情况，讲出来的话都不能信的...
大家都很火大被骗了那么多钱，又不知道可以拿他们怎么办，一直愤恨不平地讲那件事。思宁很不爽很不爽，有几次都很不爽的直接大声说：“不要再讲那件事了可以没有？！；喂！可以不要再讲了吗？！”被骂时大家都不讲，但那股怨恨没消，久不久又很不爽的骂几句，然后又一起要论起来，然后又有人不爽地讲不要提了。就这样一直轮回。虽然有自我安慰说花钱买一辈子的教训，划算，但似乎起不了什么安抚作用。我在想，我领袖营时上了李明锭老师的课，他说我们对人要友善，像他走在路上都会面带微笑，我觉得这样很好，就学他，结果不会分别是非，对谁都笑，就上当了。活该！考试考酱好没用，自己的钱都保护不了。遇到这种事，三十六计，走为上策！不要理那些人怎么死缠烂打都要走，落荒而逃也要逃。走不了时，像芽菜那样一直面无表情地Lemon他们就对了，同时找空隙逃走。不要跟他们讲话，不要对他们笑，不管他们讲什么，都静静就好（要有定力，这些人很会挑动人家情绪的）。我第一次觉得，像芽菜那样每次Lemon关系不熟的人，甚至会让人觉得他有点LC（其实是太腼腆）的个性，是在这五浊恶世生存的王道。
不好的开始就是失败的一半，不知为何从来都不是柳暗花明又一春。我们去Fortune挑衣服，一直试穿，结果那些外劳Sales girl就一直用外语来骂。什么问题哦，我们消费者有权利慎重选择最适合我们自己的东西的好不好？！妈的，现在大家心情更糟。
去Mc Donald吃午餐时又浪费了无谓的钱。其实我不想喝汽水的，不过是Set，所以就没办法。我整杯汽水只喝过一两口就不喝了。过后才懂可以Cancel的。
我真的觉得自己不是群体走街的行家，老是花下不必要的钱，有股冲动想直接跟她们说以后不要出来Shopping了。但是看起来又好像在逃避，就好像做到数学不会做，就直接讲不做了的感觉，应该要多尝试才会有经验，但这么想感觉也怪怪的。可能是时间太仓促，所以大家都没有仔细想就匆匆做了决定，然后就一直犯错。群体行动最好是有充裕的时间，不然就是有周详的计划，不然一定会很冤枉。以庭讲要是刚才去帮忙振潘就不会遇到这种事了，哈哈~
还是有人很冷很不爽，虽然大家都发现，却不知该怎么办，就一直刻意忽略它，逛街逛到气氛怪怪的...我自个儿去买Bra，其他人去买衣服。是花了很多钱，不过是实验，看下是不是花那么多钱的都是好的，耐穿的，如果是的话，以后可以舍得花一点买这些好穿又耐穿的，不用老是为了省钱而买一些Cheap货。
之后跟她们Meet，坚仪竟买了一件RM49.90的衣服，吓到我！她很舍得...她说那家店Service不错，Sales girl/man（为什么是Girl和Man而不是Girl和Boy？）都会主动帮你搭配衣服，叫你怎么搭，怎么穿，虽然衣服贵了些。我对钱很敏感，很吝啬，只要贵我都不太舍得的咯...算了，去看看吧！我到目前为止都还未买到一件新年衣，坚仪则买了三件，看，身材好，皮肤白就是那么好买衣服。
那家店应该是叫MBK，在二楼的。那些衣服大部分普普通通，甚至可以说像Pasar Malam的，但一件RM60++—Rm70++，真的是很像早上的诈骗集团。可是它的Sales girl/man来叫你穿了之后，感觉就很不一样了，还挺时髦，很焕然一新的感觉，难怪他们那么好生意，因为他们有教人怎么穿，也会帮你挑衣服该怎么搭怎么搭酱子。
我是看上了一件，Walau，RM59.90，才不要！还有另一款相同的，只是没那么好看，RM29.90.当然是选便宜的，我对花钱这档事很吝啬的。还有一件长裤我也是很有兴趣，RM69.90，Sorry咯，没有钱，被诈骗集团骗走了，而且还是很贵，虽然她说是店里最便宜的了，也看得出她没说谎，因为质料是好点，穿衣服也很好搭，当然是贵咯！算了，我只是个学生，自己不会赚钱就不要乱花钱，没有钱就先别想爱漂亮，等长大了再说吧！
有些同学家里都很注重外表，所以花钱打扮很舍得，但我家是不理那么多的，衣服，只是拿来遮掩身体的东西，所以没必要花钱在上面。只要跟外表有关的，Bag啊、鞋啊、钱包啊、手表啊...全部都是随便，有人给更好，不用花钱就有东西用，这，就是我家的原则。所以可以理解我上高一了还用着人家小学用那种书包，朋友都讲很呆，但我们家是以‘它还能不能用’来衡量要不要买新物品的。哈哈~我那书包品质那么好，用到高三也不足为奇，搞不好过后还要传给别人用呢！
回家啦、回家啦！下Chow Kit Monorail站时，不懂要不要过对面下才能搭到公车，就走过去看咯，看了知道不是，就再走回去，有人似乎不太满意这样漫无目标地寻觅，说本来就是那边下，都不懂我们干嘛走来这。乍到...知道是那边下，就讲出来嘛，不讲谁知道，自己去确认又不满意我们浪费无谓的时间。不懂那里可以搭43号公车，看到公车站，agak-agak是那个方向就走了。然后讲不是在这里搭，应该走里面点，都不懂我们干嘛一直往这里走。乍到...知道的人又不要大声讲出来，问这么走对不对时又没人要答，也没有站出来做Leader带大家走，不知道的人agak-agak走又不满人家浪费无谓的时间，我们的沟通真的很有很有问题。我都不懂要怎样说。像这种情况，今天出来玩时出现了超多次，多到我都吓了一跳，大家轮流摆黑脸，只有恩怡、予宁、以庭没有这么做。
态度那么不积极，问意见时给人Lemon，直接决定又觉得人家法西斯，心里暗不爽，不爽又不讲出来，搞到气氛越来越奇怪，大家又不知道是不是自己错，在疑神疑鬼，每一步都小心翼翼避免触爆地雷，这样战战兢兢的玩，怎么可能开心呢？心里不爽，一定要讲出来，不然谁知道错在哪？不过要心平气和地讲，然后表情要配对的语气，很多人都可以好好讲，但表情就是‘都是你们啦’，那就算好好讲最后也不会有好下场，这比不讲还糟。这会给人一种感觉：都是你们啦...不过你们错了，我还那么好好跟你们讲，已经很买面子了。感觉上好像全场错完她对完，高高在上，然后很‘宽宏大量’地原谅大家。谁会喜欢被人家这样看待？团队行动，一定会有很多这种情况。而且很多时候，大家都希望别人配合自己，如果别人没这么做，就会生气或暗不爽。其实要互相迁就的咯，就算真的是全场错万你对完，你能好好讲，表情柔和点，大家都会发现自己的错，也会很愿意好好商量。高高在上的表情，就算大家知道自己错，也不会想跟你商量，甚至会想借机引发吵架，然后一次过表达完心里的不服，不欢而散，这样可以快点解决，即使很糟糕。我当然也有错，我从来就不是个很好相处的人，只是我想到我爸跟我这么说，有点道理，就讲出来让大家看看我的想法。有一次我跟我妈吵架后他Send了这封Mail给我：
HKwan,
Maybe you were unhappy and look at things in a negative light. Going out with your friend, even travelling are tiring to you?
As for your training, camp are activities chosen by you yourself. You are free to pull out of them. If you think you are not up to it, go for something lighter. Nothing really great about being a school badminton player.
You can't be to sensitive to people's feelings and their ways. You seem to want to please other people. Although at your age it is natural. But you can't please everyone and keep ignoring your own feeling. Getting along with others is difficult as most people are selfish, they do things that suit them or are to their advantage or convenience. They cause inconvenience to others. Relationship is a mirror that reflects what people are. If you care too much about what people think or about not to hurt others, then you are being controlled, being pushed or being ordered around.
It is not that we should be inconsiderate. Every relationship needs adjustment from both sides. If we insist on own ways only, then it is going to be one-sided and difficult.
You have to slowly learn to grow up and be independent. If you depend on people's opinions and are afraid to be disapproved, then people move you around. Always be prepared to say no calmly. It is alright to say no and give your reason why. Other people may get angry and why they are angry is because they don't get what they want from you. It is alright. Let them be angry. It is not your fault. You can't please everyone. We try to be reasonable, try our best. We must be ready to say: I can't do this because... It is easier said than done. Relationship is two-way, not one-way. If a relationship is based on love and sensitivity, then there will be sensitive adjustment and the giving of room for others to move.It'll not be pushing you to do this and do that.
You will meet bullies who will behave like a boss. As you grow up, you will slowly learn to be strong and ignore people who are like that. You will be able to do things which are right and just let people feel what they want to feel.
As for housework, you have to do your part. I think your mother has done a lot. Her ways may be inflexible and slow, try to adjust to her. She is your mother, be more understanding as she loves you in her own way. May be you don't see it now. When you grow up and have your own children, then you will know.
Zhichien is a bit lazy and he has his own way like dragging his feet and not doing things promptly. But he is not as bad as you think. He does help a bit here and there, less than you maybe. He is your brother and do be patient.
Sometimes you do react strongly and get into a temper quickly. Sorry, I think you yourself are good at showing your dark face to others. I hope I am wrong but from my observation, I have this impression that you show your displeasure quite openly. What are you unhappy about? Have we not treated you well enough? In terms of housework, your mum does most of it.
We are not perfect. But children often don't appreciate their parents until the days when they are alone, when they have to do every little bit by and for themselves. I don't really mind but we are all learning.
If you wish to do things at your own time, tell your mum nicely that you will do it later. When you lash out, it is unpleasant and it brings a reaction.
It is always better to be polite and say: Could I do it later?
If you wish to do it your way, then don't do it in front of her. We must be intelligent. When you can't, do it as instructed and see that it may be cleaner. I do not know. I don't take it that hard. I know she is inflexible, but I don't fight her. I feel it is needless and I give way not because I am afraid, I think I give way because I understand more and my heart is large enough to give her her way.
Everyone has his fault, including me. We do have to give and take and take things easy. Be more easygoing and you will be happier.
其实很多事情隔一天后回想，大家都会有所感悟，希望大家都能好好学习，做到最好！祝大家新年快乐！！身体健康！！
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